#17

Yesterday, I watched part of the Beatles’ anthology. I’ve never seen this documentary of the Beatles before, so I was really into it while watching. It’s actually based on McCartney, Harrison and Starr, reminiscing those days when they were in the band, the songs they’ve recorded (take by take, they go back and listen to each one of them), jamming and yeah. Actually, the thing that I like about this documentary is that it doesn’t focus on their personal lives and the reviews of some music critic on how the Beatles made a revolution in the music scene, both pop and rock. It actually focuses on the music of the Beatles itself.

I remember Paul McCartney saying something like, when the Beatles first heard the Supremes (a group of singers from Motown), they thought that they were really good in their first album. But as they listened to the second, third and the other albums, it sounded pretty much the same, having that Motown sound to it, and it sounds redundant. The music never changes. That’s why the Beatles, while they were still together, experimented with different sounds and inventing new genres such as psychedelic rock, using classical music elements in their songs, playing a tape backwards while singing whatever and playing whatever note, and it clicks.

I find it really awesome. Even before, I didn’t want to limit myself to rock music if I ever form a band in the future. I want to write ballads, acoustic songs, use different sounds to create a distinct rhythm to form a song. The Beatles were more than just catchy rock n roll tunes that you dance to, or songs that you listen to when you’re high. Their curiosity in order to improve their perception on music and the way they write songs is never ending, and they seek different ways to revolutionize the way a typical man writes his songs, from the rhythm down to the lyrics. Creativity at its best. Although the Beatles didn’t have awesome guitar solos or they weren’t the best band ever, they influenced musicians from pop to rock genres. They were revolutionary because throughout their time, they broke the boundary that dictates what music was back then and improved it, even creating new genres and tried experimenting with different sounds.

I’m sorry for spazzing. I just find this worth writing.

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#16

I’m sorry if I keep on posting sad stuff here on my blog. I just want to let it all out.

So today, I was browsing at the FanFiction I used to write back in this certain site and I started reading a few of them, as well as reading the comments that my readers left me. It really delighted me that there are these people who love my work despite my lack of experience when it comes to writing, especially this one story that signalled my big break in the FanFiction scene at that certain site. That specific story was an experimental story in which I started to use a different writing style, and of course, having been young back then and an amateur when it comes to grammar, I was very moved by my readers who loved the story and despite my young age, acknowledge me as a good author.

But it seems that things have changed.

I don’t see myself as a good writer, but I believed the things that the readers of my story mentioned in their comments. They motivated me to write and write and write. I know that they’re not exactly professionals who critique stories in a more sophisticated manner, but it makes me happy knowing that there are people who liked my stories and think that I’m good for my age.

There was this one reader of mine who’s three years older than I am, and she would talk to me about how good that certain story of mine was and that she was astonished to hear my age back then. Heck, she even included me in her “list of recommended authors” and it moved me deeply, knowing that I was part of that list, and that along with my username, there were names of the other good and well known authors in that site, and I was very, very happy that it made me think that perhaps, I am a good author, and I should give myself more credit because all this time, I’ve been thinking that I’m just a writer. But after that event, it made me think that I’m actually a good writer.

But that was years ago. After checking that reader’s profile once again, my name wasn’t on the list.

…and it hurts.

I feel so pathetic.

#15

Miserable.

While I’m at it, could someone else at least pretend that they give a fuck?

I’m referring to my mother.

Thanks for ignoring my feelings and just letting things go your way. You must be overjoyed.

Now it’s my time to give you a piece of my mind.