#56

Happy 2 decades of existence to moi.

Around 4-5 years ago, I received a birthday greeting from my then best-friend-turned-to-crush, which I had read in the morning. I found it sweet, since he had remembered my birthday. But besides the fact that he forgot the birthday of his girlfriend (who used to be my best friend too until she became his girlfriend) and happened to remember mine, I felt as if I had a special place in his heart.

After all, we lived 12 hours away from each other. Him in Pennsylvania, me in Manila. Nevertheless, he managed to greet me on my birthday, and he was the very person who did so on that day, and to think that he wrote that right while thinking of the time difference (there being March 31 while it’s gonna be April 1 in my area)… I thought it meant something… despite the 6 year age gap, the distance, and the time.

Years later, I don’t talk to this person anymore because I figured that this relationship was never gonna be self-sustaining. Whether he liked me or not, I couldn’t keep the pretense of being just a friend, since I couldn’t stand lying to my best friend. I told him the truth before vanishing from his life, ashamed of developing feelings when all he ever did to me was be a best friend, and I wish I could do the same for him if it weren’t for those feelings.

Back to my point, whether he did have feelings for me or none whatsoever, it was clear to me that if I were to find another person who would greet me on the exact day of my birthday in spite of the time difference or whatever he has on that day, I will go for him. My time with my first love has long been overdue, but if I were to find someone who treated me in the same manner, I promise that I will accept his sincerity, because then I would’ve known and understood how much I mean to him.

I miss you, supersaiyan.