#57

It’s been days since the school year ended, and I’ve been very eager to write — writing about these stories that keep buzzing in my head due to my hyperactive yet still functional imagination. It’s been a while, and perhaps I’ve lost my touch, but I like writing, and to be honest, the experience matters more to me than the product (but that’s no excuse to neglect it whatsoever). Anyhow, back to writing.

So next year, I won’t be seeing a familiar face (the trash). Even though I was a bit freaked out by our encounters, I’m going to miss them–or more specifically, the rush that I feel whenever that person tries to go a bit closer to get a better look and other things like that. At the corridor. At the cafe. At the train. I know I’m romanticizing it, but I just can’t help it- it really is in my nature to idealize the fuck out of something and always expect that something good comes out of it. I mean, face the facts, yes. But I would always say “I just want to widen my options,” and then once options have been laid out, there goes my imagination, trying to predict them in a dreamlike fashion. Nevertheless, I know where I draw the line, and I’d know if a person were earnest.

Kinda like what happened this semester. I finally gained closure with my feelings. It took me a while to realize that person’s indifference, and that person never truly cared at all — if that person ever did, that may have been a long time ago, and people change. There’s still some (but doesn’t it always leave a mark, at least 5-10% of it) but basically I just don’t give a rat’s ass about that person anymore.

Lately, I’ve been thinking of working out more, since throughout the semester, I’ve always complained about how tired I was, and how sleepy I always was, and I should do something to address it. I’ve heard that if you work out more, that would increase blood flow to the brain, increasing brain activity and reducing chances of getting sleepy. I’d like to try that out, as well as pursue a healthier lifestyle since I had a recent stomach ache that made me vomit my heart out.

Just waiting for my grades to be released. I hope I pass the semester. I really hope so. I don’t want to be delayed. I don’t want to put any more financial burden to the family. Oh yeah, small accomplishment though– I didn’t study for my Physiology 2 Lab exam, yet I passed it with points to spare. Haha! Sadly, even if I studied for Anatomy 2 Lab 3rd shifting exam, I failed it. Luckily, I passed my grand pracs, which is 10% of the bulk of our final grade in anatomy 2 lab, and I’ve been failing this subject, so this is actually a silver lining for me. I hope everything falls in my favor.

I want chocolate. And matcha ice cream. I want it bad.

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